These brave survivors of sexual violence

….will always be with me.

Forty-eight years ago today I graduated from the Seattle Police Academy.  

Three days later I drove my police cruiser out on the streets of Seattle.  I was one of the first five female patrol officers in the city.

This was the beginning of my career in criminal justice that spanned 35 years.   It was a gloriously rewarding career.  

Shortly before we were married, my Danny asked if I wanted to stop working so we could be together every day.  As rewarding as my work had been, this was a dream come true….to be with my love every minute of every day.  I happily quit working.  

Coincidentally, just this week my daughter, Alison, sent us a news article about sex offenders and restorative justice.  The article also questioned the value of sex offender registration, stating that it is “harmful to label” convicted sex offenders.  

Alison wanted our opinion of the article.  While writing to Alison and relating my vast and varied experiences in the criminal justice system with victims and survivors, I soon lost myself in the past….and each of these brave survivors of sexual violence that I had worked with floated through my mind.  They were all badly hurt, but also kind and brave.  

This is what I wrote to Alison:

Thank you for sending us this article, Alison.

Wow!  What  nonsense!  The woman mentioned in this article is only concerned with the welfare of the person who raped or sexually assaulted another child or adult—not the victim of the crime or the safety of those in the community.  She believes that the Sex Offender law requiring that individuals who are convicted of certain sex offenses must register with the law enforcement agency in the jurisdiction where they live is a bad law, because it puts a “label” on these criminals.

All my career I worked in the criminal justice system and with sex offenders, and with the people who were sexually assaulted by these offenders.   The HUGE majority of these criminals who have sexual assaulted another human being do not stop committing their crimes, even when they are put in prison or appropriately labeled as a “sex offender.”

I was a police officer and a County Marshal for over 7 years.  I arrested a number of people who had sexually assaulted others.   I worked in a County Jail for a year, and several times a week I was assigned to the unit where the sex offenders were housed.  One of these criminals wrote a letter to a friend, where he outlined his complete plan to lock me in his cell and rape me.  Luckily. the letter was intercepted by jail staff!

I worked for 10 years in Juvenile Probation and had several “children” on my caseload who were sex offenders.  Many of the juveniles who had committed crimes and were on my caseload had been victims of sexual assault. 

For six years I worked as an advocate for victims of sexual assault on Whidbey Island….people from newborn babies to 65 year old women—boys, girls, stranger rape victims, those raped by friends, fathers, siblings, neighbors, relatives, dates, and more.   

One year I had over 100 clients (survivors of sexual assaults).  I worked with their entire family, their therapists, teachers, school counselors .  And in the criminal justice system, I worked with the prosecutors, defense attorneys, police officers, and judges. 

I was a founding member of the Sexual Assault Advisory Committee on Whidbey Island, and was elected  chairperson.  This new organization included therapists, law enforcement, attorneys, military personnel, educators, survivors of sexual assault, and interested citizens in our community.

I also trained other advocates to help the victims of a sexual assault (and their family) to respond to the victims, with the goal of ultimately helping the victim become a survivor, who gains the strength and wisdom to go on with life.  And to have a good life.

Not only was I an advocate for victims of sexual abuse, but accepted the position of Interim Director of CADA (Citizens Against Sexual and Domestic Abuse) for six months when our Director retired.  I turned down the permanent position of Director, as I wanted to continue to work with our clients—the individuals who were sexually and/or physically abused.

Alison, the woman who is featured in this article is for restorative justice, which in extremely rare instances can be helpful for the survivor of a sexual assault to confront their abuser.  But most of the time the survivor never wants to see or hear from the person who assaulted them.  

The survivor of the sexual assault usually wants to do whatever she or he has to do to make sure that this criminal never hurts another person.   That is why so many of my clients wanted to go through the hard process of testifying against their perpetrator.  

I was so proud of all the girls, boys, teenagers, and women that I helped to have the strength to go through the criminal justice system and testify in Court with the person who had sexually assaulted them right there in the court room….glaring at them.  

What strength that took!  And whether the offender was convicted or not, each of my clients knew that they had done the right thing to testify against their abuser. They had done their best.  And in the end, my clients were no longer victims….they were survivors!

The law for sex offenders to be registered in their community is a good and effective law.  We should be notified of the whereabouts of sex offenders.  And, especially, we should be notified of sex offenders who are at high risk to reoffend.  We need to protect ourselves, our families, and our children from these dangerous predators.

In conclusion, I’ll tell you the story of how I helped one of your grade school teachers get an anti-harassment order against a dangerous sex offender that had settled in Whidbey Island…..just a few blocks from our farm in Langley.  The registered sex offender was stalking this young teacher.  The sex offender felt “chased out” of South Whidbey when he was served with the anti-harassment order, and he left the home where he had been placed when he was released from prison.  He violated his probation and illegally fled to Alaska. He was arrested a few weeks later when he attempted to kidnap a woman on a deserted road.   Luckily, she jumped from his car and escaped!  

Alison, I’m sure you can tell that this is a subject that I feel very passionate about.  All these brave survivors of sexual violence will always be with me.

Love, Mom

I would like to add that when I would see one of my clients months or years later, these brave girls, boys, and women would thank me for being with them during the time in their life that was so very difficult.  They would say that when I defended them and stood up to the prosecuting and defense attorneys, judges, and police officers, that it gave them strength hope.

Ironically, these survivors were the ones who gave me my strength and hope!