I'm 77! What a weird age to be.

How many people get a pacemaker installed as a birthday present?  I'm special.

It was actually the day before my birthday, but I was really feeling the effects the next day.

So, Candice, who is still recovering from her 100-mile ultra run (the HURT 100, where she placed THIRDDDDD!!!), and Vicky, who was still recovering from her arm/wrist surgery of three days prior, provided my energy.  Along with the rest of my family who called and texted.

I am blessed.

Luckily, a few days before Vicky broke her arm, she started making my birthday dinner with THE Graybill tradition---my mother's home-made noodles.  How all of us have loved them through the years, and how happy my mother always was making them for us.  When we see her in heaven the first thing we will say to her will be "Hi Mom!!  Noodles ready?"

Candice arrived the day before her mom's arm/wrist surgery.  It was broken in three places, and twisted badly.  Ouch........I mean REALLY OUCH!

She was in so much pain after the surgery that she required strong pain killers.  

Candice bathed her, dressed her, undressed her for bed, and did everything else.  

We had one day in between Vicky's surgery and my surgery.  

I had a pacemaker installed. 

Unexpectedly, I was also in a lot of pain, and VERY restricted in my movements.  For example, I could not lift my arm over my head or put it behind my back.  Doesn't seem like much, but these are old habits.  Try putting on and taking off a shirt with those restrictions...especially when you are in pain.

Then it was my birthday.  Candice made a pumpkin pie for my birthday cake.  It was what I wanted.  

 

Vicky and Candice cooking my noodles:

Eating!!!

So, on Friday, my birthday Candice was dealing with two parents who were in pain and who were severely limited in what they could do.  So, she did it all.

On  Tuesday night, after Vicky's surgery, Candice grilled steaks she got for us.  

And being the totally clever guy I am, I asked her to do the grilling so she would be grossed out by how awful our grill was, and would buy us another one.

It worked!!!!!!

She got me a new grill as a birthday present, and worked until the evening assembling it.

 

Then I came running out to the front yard to see my new grill and did a great job of pretending I didn't know I would get one!!!

{full disclosure:  Actually, I had no idea.  When I saw it I yelled so loud in surprise and pleasure that I thought later that someone might call Leisure World security!}

Gifts:

Boy did I score!!!!!

Emily's blanket.  She knows that I am like my father who is colder than most people.  Also, my heart beating slowly (which the pacemaker should fix somewhat) keeps me colder.  So, look at my new blanket.  

It's hard to describe.  It is SOOO soft.

Look at the gifts I got from my sweetheart:

Each one of them has a special meaning to me and to us.  Look, for example, at the "cracklin' good" frames.  We found them in Pine, sitting forlornly on a table out front of the store.  They were originally the tops to bins in old supermarkets.  You could look through them to see what was in the bins.  Very pre-WW-II.  Into one of them she put a photo of her as a young child taking ballet.....loved dancing from the start.  Into the other she put a photo of me with my mother playing a duet in a recital.  

We got texts from Marina and Stella, Mila and Owen, calls from Soren, Sebastian, Emily, Allison/Aryana/Easton and Adam, and Rachelle (got to talk to Alden too!), and on Sunday with my old buddies Susan and Lawrence.

Then, that night, Candice sneaked out after we went to bed to assemble our new e-trikes.

And then, two days later, Soren competed at the state match in swimming and did his best time ever, and was a very high finisher.

The only thing I was ever that good at in high school was sacking groceries at Steele's Market. 

Should I say it again?  OK.  I will.  I am blessed with people to love.  

Santa (Candice) came last night while we were sleeping

We have decided to sell our bikes......too much risk of danger.  A sad decision, but one that we are comfortable with.  The Gods are sort of telling us to cut back.

And so a few days ago we ordered electric trikes.  Now we can cycle,  be outdoors in the dark (which we love doing), and get great exercise at the same time. 

The trikes, from Rads, came 3 days!!! after we ordered them.  Can that be true?  3 days?  Sitting in two huge boxes in the garage.  

Be honest.  Do we finally look old enough to be riding tricycles? 

 

Last night while we were sleeping Santa Candice came and unloaded all of the boxes.  Now she will be a be able to get the empty boxes to our LW dump and out of our garage.

She did that after making a pumpkin pie for Dan's birthday party today.  

We can't ride them for another 4 weeks, but now we can get them assembled and ready.  Getting them out of the boxes and getting rid of the boxes was the major step.

Here is what they looked like this morning.  WHAT a surprise!!!

Thanks Santa Candice!

Ha ha techies....I have four computers for my body. How about you?

Including one that is inside my body.

My heart has been through a lot in the past 6 or 7 years.

A heart attack last January.  

Open heart surgery in 2018.

Heart ablation for A-fib

My latest joy came after I noticed that my portable EKG device was displaying A-fib again.  So we contacted my Cardiologist who ordered another heart halter device that I would wear for 10 days.

The results showed that I had "First degree AV block (ICD-426.11) (ICD10-I44.0) Mobitz type 1 second degree Atrioventricular (AV) block (ICD-426.13) (ICD10-I44.1) appears to have symptomatic chronotropic incompetence."

Another easier-to-understand diagnosis would be "pacemaker deficit disorder."

What it means is that my heart beats too slowly because the beat from the upper chamber to the lower chamber doesn't always make it.  This can lead to fatigue, drowsiness, etc.  My heart beats during the day at the pace that it should be beating when I'm asleep.  At times my heart beat is too rapid (tachycardia), and they can't control that with medicine because then it would make my heart beat most of the time far too slow.

So, yesterday was an important day to have Candice here.  Vicky couldn't drive, and I wouldn't be able to drive.  Vicky has a disabled arm from her surgery two days earlier, so simply would not be able to handle anything that came up.  We are so grateful to have Candice here.

From my love, my flower girl, my Vicky.

 

We thought that getting a pacemaker was a nothing-burger.  Just slip a small device under the skin, thread wires to my heart, and done!

And that's sort of what it was.  Seemed to take about 45 minutes.  

It's the recovery we didn't anticipate.  I'm in a ton of pain, and am not allowed to do much with my arm for 4 weeks.  Otherwise, as it was explained to me, I might pull the leads out of my heart muscle and then they would have to start over.  DON'T WANT THAT! 

We finally got out of there.  Got home, where Candice did all of the work that night.  

I now have that little baby computer inside my body.  Also I have new hearing aids as of a couple of months ago that are computers.  And a heart monitor that sits on the dresser and once a day sends signals to my doctor's office if anything about my heartbeat goes awry.

I'm the bionic man. 

Candice, my Danny, and our family made my surgery day fun

Our whole family was with me today during my surgery with loving texts, phone calls, and emails.  The doctors, nurses, and staff performed surgery and fixed my arm and wrist that I broke in several places.  They inserted a metal plate and several screws in my arm to hold the bones in place.

Candice and Danny were by my side, caring for me and loving me every moment of the day.

Candice chronicled the day for all of us….

Checking in at the hospital for surgery at 7:35 am.

Finally, I was wheeled out for surgery just after noon….

We were back together in the Recovery Room over two hours later.  Candice kept her Dad, my Danny, calmed down and sane during my surgery.  Thank you, Candice.

I had been yearning for a milkshake for six days….ever since I broke my arm.  It seemed like the supreme reward for a major injury.  My Danny full filled my dream today with something even better than a milkshake!

We were home and I was nestled on the couch….with a LARGE Choco Brownie Blizzard from Danny, and an amazing “Five Guys” bacon cheeseburger from Candice.  I’m normally not a hamburger type of gal, but I highly recommend this burger….it was the best burger ever!

A day that I have dreaded with great fear in my heart, became a day filled with love….that has brought our family closer together.  It has been a day that I will always remember as an incredibly sweet day.

Life changes, and we can fight it or acknowledge it and adapt

We have reached a milestone.  A significant one.

This is what the milestone is:  We have reached the point in our lives where we can no longer defeat the process of aging and be able to continue to have the life we have had together.  

Instead, we have to admit that the process of aging is larger than us, more powerful than our willpower, inevitable (not a choice) and relentless.  And unfeeling.  It's kind of weird when you own body doesn't give a crap about you. 

Instead of having medical/aging problems that gradually slow us down but that we can, with effort, get back ahead of, we now have medical/aging problems that get ahead of us.....and stay there.

They are beating us.....we are no longer able to beat them.

It's something that everyone faces.  We are fortunate that we have lived long enough to have to face this devil.

So we have to give up some important parts of who we are as a couple.

I had been able to come back from open heart surgery and treatment (awful treatment) of a serious prostate cancer.  Both seem to have been licked (miraculously), but time will tell.

And Vicky's back has never been normal since she was rear-ended 30 years ago.  Backs deteriorate with time, but hers got a massive head start on that.  

Then I had that unexpected heart attack a year ago....despite exercising two hours a day for several years, eating a heart-healthy diet, having low cholesterol, and having great blood pressure.  

I haven't recovered from that heart attack.  We've tried, of course.  We got out camping a few times last year, we hiked an hour a day from our cabin many times, we danced, and we tried to cycle.  But it was all at a significantly reduced level.  Significantly reduced level.  For example, in 2023 we cycled 5000 miles.  In 2024 we cycled 800 miles.    We didn't even hike 100 miles last year.  10 years earlier we had hiked 100 miles in Joshua Tree National Park alone....in about two weeks time!

Two big changes from the heart attack.  One is that I take 5 medicines every day...just for that.  That's not a typo.  And they all have weird side effects.   In fact, because of all of the medicines we both take, we have a new definition of "date night:"

The second change is that because I am on blood thinners I can no longer take NSAIDS.  I have been fighting back against wide-spread and at times debilitating arthritis for almost 25 years.  Several surgeries on my shoulder and on my foot, for example,   Both wrists starting to hurt 2-3 years ago from arthritis, making shifting gears while cycling more difficult.  

And then, in the late fall, I fell and broke my wrist while hiking.   Just tripped.  Both feet at the same time hit roots on the trail, so had no feet to break my fall.  

This ended dancing for awhile and cycling for three months now. 

Last year we did very little cycling on the rim.  Basically we stopped doing that.  We cycled some in Pine, but those roads are not filled with rocks and ruts like they are on the Rim.  In our previous years of cycling we had each fallen occasionally when hitting very soft sand or a rock.

Last year, in Leisure World, Vicky hit a weird place on a sidewalk when cycling and took a tumble.  She landed on her knee, which has been giving her trouble off and on since that time.

Another consideration about cycling in the challenging places (i.e., on the Rim and on the Leisure World golf paths at night) is that I am taking blood thinners, so a fall could be much more serious.

Currently we are facing two additional challenges.  One is that I need a pacemaker.  My heart doesn't always beat correctly to push the blood to my body.  That surgery is scheduled for next week.  We are hopeful that this will help a bit in getting my energy back to where it was before the heart attack. 

And then, three days ago, while Vicky and I were walking on the golf course trails very early in the morning (i.e., in the dark), Vicky slipped and hit the concrete very hard.  She slipped on ice, if you can believe that could happen in Mesa, Arizona.  We have walked and cycled thousands of miles in Leisure World at night, and have never even seen ice.  

Her arm/wrist is totally messed up.  She will be getting surgery to have a plate put into her arm in three days.  So, no more cycling for her for several weeks, even if we were going to cycle.

 Too many changes to our bodies in too short of a time.  We need to read this all very carefully.  And listen.

And this is what we hear when we listen:  We can't do what we used to do.  

It's a loss because we have enjoyed it all.  

We will no longer take months-long road trips the way we used to.  We can't be away from doctors and hospitals.   We had, in the past 14 years, traveled 55,000 miles across this wonderful country of ours, camping in some 350 different spots.  Most of them were dispersed sites.  A video of our dispersed sites.

But we can still go camping on the Rim and within short distances.  

We can't do the type of hiking we used to do, but we can hike for shorter distances and less frequently.  We've gotten close to 5000 hiking miles all over the country in less than 14 years, taking 976 hikes in that time frame. A "hike" is defined as wearing a backpack and being in the desert or mountains.  We have an untold number of walking miles in addition to hiking miles that are not included in that total. 

We can no longer cycle in the way we used to.  So we are selling our e-bikes.  We can't afford a fall.  After we sell those, we will purchase e-trikes.  We can still ride those safely around Leisure World.  We won't be able to cycle around Pine, though, because we have no way of transporting them to Pine.  

During our marriage we have cycled 33,000 miles.  In less than 14 years.  Over 1600 times we got out on our bikes in that time frame.  In our 60s and 70s, and we have had incredible joys.  Indescribable joys.  And incredible feelings of triumph.......like we get from our grandchildren. 

But we can still dance.  It won't be as easy and as smooth as it used to be until Vicky's arm heals, but there is no reason we can't get it all back.

And of all of the things we do together, other than having deep and meaningful relationships with our grandchildren,  dancing is the most important to us.  We met at a dance.  In fact, my first words to Vicky were "Can I have a dance?" 

So, despite all that has happened to our bodies, we get to choose what happens with our thoughts.  And I will always be able to say to my wife:  "Can I have a dance?"  

   

Our niece, Tonia, returns to Leisure World seventeen years later

Mom and Dad lived in Leisure World for twenty years.  Tonia stayed with these special grandparents often when she was a teenager and as a young adult.  The last time that she was here was in 2008, when they moved into The Springs, an assisted living facility across the street from Leisure World.  Tonia remembers helping to pack her Grandma and Grandpa’s belongings, and saying goodbye to Leisure World.

But now that we live here, Tonia came to visit us, say “hello” to Leisure World, relive so many of the family traditions, and talk about all the memories that she treasures of this magical oasis that is nestled in the middle of Mesa, Arizona.

A family tradition….breakfast at the Leisure World Rendezvous Cafe.

Tonia was happy to see that she could still order her very favorite Leisure World breakfast—biscuits and gravy with sausage!

The Superstition Mountains….with a view of The Praying Hands that Grandma Jeanne, her grandmother, loved so very much.

Tonia wanted to see the majestic saguaro cactus, so we drove out Apache Trail to the  lookout above Canyon Lake and the little town of Tortilla Flats.  It was a special treat for all of us to see the wild beauty of the Sonoran Desert!

 

Tonia came bearing gifts from Kathy and her for her Uncle Dan’s birthday.  The presents were Christmas tree ornaments from Kathy and Dan’s childhood and two beautiful pillowcases handmade by Dan and Kathy’s grandmother Hattie Bunting.

We had an early Happy Birthday party for my Danny….the very first of many celebrations this month for my love.  Thank you Kathy and Tonia.  We will treasure these gifts forever.

Our Christmas present to our niece, Tonia, was her trip to visit us in Leisure World.  We have decided that this very special visit by Tonia, was actually a wonderful Christmas present that Tonia gave to us!

Night Walking

Since we moved to Leisure World full-time in 2019 we have spent a lot of time every day outside in the dark.  In the early morning.  Before the sun even rises in the east.  Mostly all by ourselves, before the world "wakes up."

We have been nightwalking in Leisure World for 5+ years now.....only interrupted by a couple of years of heavy night cycling.  When we first moved to Leisure World we did night swimming for an hour and then night walking for an hour+.

In 2023 we cycled 5000 miles, and the big majority of that was in Leisure World, in the dark.  So we didn't do much nightwalking that year.

Being out in Leisure World, in the dark of the early morning, has more or less defined our living in this wonderful place.

Besides being beautiful almost to the point of being spiritual, these night-time walks and other activities in the dark have produced health benefits to us that we can only imagine. 

Our walks are out on golf courses.  We have two 18-hole golf courses in LW.  So we can be out in the open every day, where it is so very quiet and peaceful.  

LW has several ponds on these golf courses, and many of them are lit up with lighted fountains at night.  Simply beautiful.  

It is so quiet, and peaceful.  And, oddly, we almost never run into anyone else doing these walks.  A few people walk on the streets in the dark at this time of the morning, but for reasons we can't explain, the golf courses are virtually empty.  We can't figure this out.

And, importantly, we engage in these peaceful and spiritual walks together.