Once more.....with feeling

"Ouch" feeling, that is.

One of the best quotes about my life was given to me by my daughter-in-law, Jessica who, in discussing the number of operations I have had since I've moved to Whidbey Island remarked: "Everyone in the Pacific Northwest needs a winter hobby. Yours is having operations."

Just had another foot operation,November 13. On the same right foot, my third on that foot, my third winter scooting around on a knee scooter. Add to those operations, one one each shoulder (including a complete Rotator cuff repair) and that makes 5 in 4 1/2 years.

And I feel so fortunate. These surgeries have been to correct long-standing problems that, as a younger man, I could overlook (or that were overlooked by physicians) until age crept up on me. But my misfortunes with my body are minor--my problems are with joints that can be repaired, and have been, giving me a more youthful and strong body than I have had in years. And that will allow me to hike, cycle, and dance with Vicky for a very long time. Because otherwise my body is good. Never strong, but with a ton of endurance.

My latest foot operation followed two attempts to correct the structural problems in my foot, problems caused by a bunion that was not sufficiently dealt with for 25 years and so was allowed to continue, insidiously, to destroy the inside of my foot, and the structure my body depends upon.

The first operation was a failure, not from any lack of skill from my surgeon but from just the fact that a certain percentage of all surgeries are failures. My second surgeon (who I was referred to by my first surgeon who didn't take the failure personally but instead wanted the best for me) approached the solution in a different way, possibly having learned from the first failure what was needed. And it was a rousing success!

I have hiked and danced and biked all year with no pain, or virtually no pain. I have a foot! And before I was worried that I might become a cripple within just a few years.

This current surgery was to finish up the job, as the correction of the structure of my foot exposed the fact that my toes had grown in odd ways over the years to compensate. So I had toes straightened.

Much more minor operation than the first two. But I paid for it with MUCH MORE PAIN this time than either of the other two operations. I used half of the pain pills that were prescribed, rather than the 5 or 6 that I needed (each) for the first two.

I took Oxycontin, a combination of Acetaminophen and oxycodone (a synthetic opioid). While it controlled the pain (somewhat at first, completely after a couple of days), the feeling I have while on it is awful. I am puzzled as to why this drug is one that people would become addicted to. For me, it was like having a mild fever--you're sort of out of it, not enjoying things as you might, too lazy to engage people fully, too tired to want to do anything requiring effort.

It must affect people differently. The idea of becoming addicted to this feeling state is puzzling to me. But then I wondered if that feeling state is in some way better than how some people feel all of the time. Isn't that a dreadful thought?

The evidence seems to be that there are addiction-prone bodies (i.e., people), and that people synthesize those drugs in different ways. For most, I imagine they synthesize Oxycontin as I do--and feel awful. A few synthesize it in a way that produces pleasure. I'm not all that convinced that the tightening of restrictions for prescribing Oxycontin isn't just harming the first group, as the second group will most likely just move on to another drug to get their highs if it is more difficult to obtain pain killers. That seems to be the way the drug culture works--when addictions to one drug go down, addictions to other drugs increase.

Well, anyway, I'm getting better. My toes look awful, swollen, red, with all kinds of scars and a nice blue hat pin sticking straight out of my middle toe.

When I walk around the house now my toe hat pin clicks on the floor. Vicky laughs. She says I sound like the peg-legged actor in the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. She makes me laugh too.