May….our month

Each month I update the calendar that had been Mom Graybill’s.  

In July 2011, just a few weeks before we were married, we bought an old F250 truck with a vintage 1970 Chinook Camper in the truck bed.  

We spent all summer and fall fixing up the camper.  It was wonderfully fun!

We were planning on going on a roadtrip….whatever that was, we didn’t know for sure.

Early in the new year we piled our truck and camper with everything we thought we would need for three months, and headed south from rainy Whidbey Island to find the sun.  This was the start of our first roadtrip—January of 2012.  Little did we know that we would love road-tripping so much that we would head south every winter for the next eight years….until we bought Nuestra Casa, our home in Leisure World, Arizona.

One of our first stops on our first roadtrip was to see Mom and Dad at their assisted living home in Mesa.  As we were sitting and talking, I realized that Mom had a calendar on the wall for the previous month. When I mentioned this, Mom, who had serious arthritis in her hands, asked me if I would help her update her calendar.

Every time we visited after this, I would help Mom update her calendar.  This was something I would look forward to….it was very special to work on the calendar with Mom.

After Mom died, I asked if I could have her calendar.  It reminded me of the times Mom and I spent together, like girls, talking and laughing.

As I updated Mom’s calendar a few days before the first of May, I once again thought of those happy days with Mom.  She is my Danny’s mother, but she will always be my very special Mom too.  She knew who I was in my heart, and she loved me, as I love her.

So, Mom, who is in heaven, we are thinking of you.  This is our most special month….the month that my (and your) Danny became an us.

A "like" on our year-old entry in the Wall Street Journal about Dan's father

 Someone, a year later, must have read this article and the comments, and gave it a like.

It does such a good job of summarizing what an awesome father I had, particularly since he never had one to model after.  He has been gone 12 years.  I miss him every day.  I was blessed with my parents.  Here is my comment worshiping my father:

Our "Peaceful Easy Feeling" being in our grasslands, and dancing

 The surface was rough and uneven.  We had to remove rocks and cowpoops.  It was windy.

But nothing can stop us from getting that Peaceful Easy Feeling of dancing far away from civilization, holding each other. 

 

Dancing in our Fields of Gold

The grasslands in this area really move us.  They are so peaceful.

For the past two nights we have had long serenades by coyotes...inviting us outside to dance to their music.

So, yesterday, on an uneven surface, after we cleaned out the rocks and cow poop, in a strong wind, we danced to Sting's song Fields of Gold.

Here are a couple of photos of these grasslands in October.  Literally they are Fields of Gold.

We want our ashes spread here, so we can walk in Fields of Gold for all of eternity.  

After the winter snows, our fields of gold are laced with green spring grass and mountain wildflowers.  Through all seasons and all eternity we will be walking and dancing together in our heaven on Earth.

Our favorite old homestead….filled with hopes and dreams

Today we hiked to a 65-year-old homestead that is hidden in the middle of our grasslands. 

This is the third time that we have returned to this homestead.  We first discovered it while camping and hiking on the Rim in October 2019….this was before we bought our cabin in Pine.

We were intrigued with this homestead…..so intrigued that we returned to it again to celebrate our anniversary in May of last year. 

Who lived there, for how long, what were their hopes and dreams, why did they leave?  Who lived here in the 50’s….when we were just little children?

In 2019 Google Maps identified this home as the V Lazy Y Cabin.  Luckily, you can no longer find it on Google Maps.  The only way to see this homestead is to stumble upon it as you hike deep in the vast grasslands on the Mogollon Rim.

We have researched this area and the homestead. We have asked Forest Service Rangers about it.  We have even looked it up in books on the history of the area.  Nowhere can we find any answers to our questions.  It all seems to be lost in history.

Lovingly written in the wet cement on the bottom step of the front porch is, “Welcome” and “July 9, 1959.

This makes us believe that whoever made this homestead—with a two story home, a large barn, a shed, a well, and an outhouse, had intended to work the land, raise farm animals, have livestock, and to make this their home for some time—maybe all their life.

There is also a flowering fruit tree in the yard that is enclosed with a picketed fence and a metal gate.  This seems to be a family home, with a wife, and maybe children.  There is the feel that the family who settled here had a great love for their home, and the grasslands that stretch in every direction as far as the eye can see.

We also love this homestead and these grasslands.  

We honored this remarkable place by resting on the front porch, and my Danny drank his morning cup of coffee.  We listened to the birds, gazed at the land surrounding us, smelled the grass, and felt a deep love for each other.  We believe that the family who lived here often did the same.

As we sat in the shade of the porch, we could feel all the hopes and dreams surfacing from the past for this old forgotten homestead. This special place should be treated gently, and with care and reverence for those who created it and lived here before.

Camping in the grasslands on the Mogollon Rim

The perfect place for our first camping trip in 2024.  

This is the area where we want our ashes to be spread…so we can hike and dance together upon our beloved grasslands through all eternity.

“I just wanted to make it home”—Candice

And she did.  After she had called her run because of insurmountable obstacles, she ran an ten extra hours and 20 more miles to make the last leg of her journey….to her home, our cabin in Pine.  She said "I wanted to run home."

As she finished her run, we met her and her crew at the Arizona Trail Pine Trailhead.

Candice’s pacers and crew….friends and so much more!

Candice had the strength, courage, and determination to attempt the Arizona Trail FKT (Fastest Known Time).  She had put together an amazing crew.  When she reached our cabin in Pine, she was easily on target to break the current record on this 800-mile trail.  

But she had the wisdom to know when going further could be harmful to her body and possibly dangerous.  Calling the run and stopping took more courage than continuing.

We are so very proud of our daughter!!

We love you, Candice.

Response to Emily's email asking: “How are you doing?"

 I am feeling so happy.  

My body will never recover.  I am trying testosterone treatments now, in the hope that I will have my old energy and enthusiasm and staying-power back.  It involves putting a cream on my chest every day, and then being careful to not touch Vicky until it dries.  I don’t want her growing a beard (that’s not a joke, actually, it can happen).  then I have to take a shower every afternoon to wash it off so I can still hold Vicky when I sleep.

Last week I got two cortisone shots in my wrists because they are so full of arthritis.  And I can’t take anti-inflammatories.  I know this is some repetition, but it’s just so nice to talk to you!    I don’t think the shots are working, but maybe a little bit.  I”ll give it more time.

We are going to do what we can.  We are planning a camping trip this week, up to one of our favorite spots—a grasslands area where there is an old, abandoned farmstead.  We like to imagine the peoples’ lives.  This is the place we want to have our ashes spread, so we’ll get the coordinates and work on a map.  It’s not hard to get to.  

Candice is running her attempt at the record for women on the AZT, so we have been involved some in that.  Keep your fingers crossed.  We had been riding our bikes for one hour every morning instead of for two.  We continue to dance, nothing has interfered with that (thank god).  

We do less walking—hurts both of us too much.  We’ll find out about hiking this week when we camp.

After taking the body blows and the rapid deterioration in my body (and the slower one in Vicky’s body), I think we have reached a new point of peace in our lives.  We are, after all, getting older, and the only alternative to getting older is worse.

And mostly we realize how fortunate I have been, how incredibly fortunate.  Our families give us great peace and happiness, and doing things for grandchildren is now even more of a life focus.  And importantly, we keep in mind that I have been really really lucky in my health problems.  Except for that Urology PA I would have died 6 years ago of a heart attack.  It was ready to blow by the time we got into surgery, and he is the ONLY doctor who could hear my heart murmur, which got me to the Cardiologist.  And then it appears as if I have a really good chance of having caught my cancer early….good thing or I would be dead by now (it’s that aggressive, unlike most men’s prostate cancer).  

Then, to have a heart attack with Vicky there who did the CPR.  If we weren’t always together, I could have laid on that bed while she was playing pickleball or something like that.

Here is another thing I think about, in trying to figure out the meaning of life.  All of my life I have had prostate problems—infection after infection.  In fact, 30 years or so ago the urologists started just giving me antibiotics so I could diagnose and treat myself.  Yet, it was those same chronic prostate problems that made it so that I was seeing an urology office when my heart problem was first diagnosed.  So, what had been, all of my adult life, something that was painful and a hassle ended up being a life-saver.  What an amazing part of my life.

We moved to the cabin this week.  Getting too hot in the valley to be able to be outside except in the dark and early morning.  Lots of heavy lifting and moving.  Hard for me, hard for vicky because of her back that continues to deteriorate.  But we did it.  And had fun.  Rewarding in that way.  We are a great team, so could coordinate how we hauled stuff into the shed and into the house. yesterday we spent some hours sitting on our back deck, just looking at the trees.

I feel like we have both “come to terms with” (always hated that trite phrase, and now find I need it) our deteriorating bodies and my illnesses, and each day progressively look forward to what we have rather than feeling down about what we have lost.  

Vicky is making me a “book” of my childhood photos.  I am picking out the photos.  I have spent a lot of time on it, and am enjoying it.  Doing that has given me a deeper awareness that I had a really good childhood.  But not only that, I can see in the photos how happy I made my mom and dad’s lives.  Just like you and Jules did for me.  People to love, grandchildren, and loving other people is the best feeling on the planet.

Thanks for contacting me.  I obviously needed to be in touch with you today.  :)

Love, Dad and Grandma Vicky

p.s.  as we do everything in our lives, Vicky read through this and made suggestions.  She called it my “thesis.”  I don’t get that. She said next time you’ll text instead of email.

We have migrated north for the summer

Mid-April at Nuestra Casa, our home in the Valley, is absolutely beautiful. 

But every day the temperatures have been creeping up a bit more.  The last few days it has been in the 90’s….too hot for us to enjoy long afternoons sitting out on our back patio.

Time for us to load up the Rat (Toyota 4Runner), hitch our electric bikes on the back rack, and pack the Turtle (F350 with our slide-in camper) with all we’ll need for the next six months.

Today with me driving the Rat and my Danny following behind in the Turtle, we headed north on one of the most scenic highways in Arizona. 

The hills were still green from the winter rains….and they were covered with blossoming yellow brittle bush and purple lupine.  The majestic saguaro cacti marched up the mountainsides.

You can see our bike through the window hitched to the back of the Rat.  My love is in the distance behind me, always close and keeping me safe.

We will spend the next few days unpacking and getting settled in our cozy cabin, nestled beneath the tall pine trees.  

This life—loving each other, always together, is heaven.

My pitiful body....and how we can't let it determine our lives

I am 76 years old, which is the average age for someone born in my cohort.  50% of people born with me are now deceased.

This is a part of growing old.....my medical problems and operations over the past 15 years.

Here we are during my most recent hospital stay.  We have a reputation of always wearing the same shirts.....so of course we even had to do it there.  The staff loved it.

1.  Three foot surgeries.  In one foot I have about 18 inches of screws and a titanium plate.  For many months we hiked with me having to wear a hard-soled sandal.

2.  Three shoulder repairs, including one for a torn rotator cuff.

3.  Two eye operations.  One for cataracts and one a Yag something-or-other.

4.  Hernia repair.  Now my groin is really a "mesh"  (ha ha)

5.  Radiation treatment for serious prostate cancer.  9 weeks daily of it.

6.  Lupron--removes all testosterone, for prostate cancer.  For 2 years, with the effects being permanent for all over your body.  My muscles turned to mush. 

7.  "Chicken shots" in my knees.  The substance is no longer made from chicken crowns, but that's how they are still referred to, for fun. 

8. Open heart surgery, even though I had no heart disease.  One of my valves fused, explanation unknown, resulting in an enlarged ascending aorta that came close to killing me.

9.  Heart attack last January.  Had a stent inserted, and now take three pills twice a day to heal my heart.  NO risk factors (low blood pressure, low cholesterol, great high fiber diet, exercising 2 hours/day)

10.  Because of my blood thinners I can't take anti inflammatory medicines...which I have taken for the past 20+ years to control my chronic arthritis.  

 11.  Today:  A shot of cortisone into each wrist because my arthritis there is not allowing us to do what we want and need to do for our health and happiness.  It's getting more difficult to cycle, for example, because it hurts to pull the brakes.  Cross your fingers that they work.  If not, MORE SURGERY HERE I COME!

12.  Now that the worst of the risk of my cancer coming back is over, I am starting on Testosterone replacement therapy.  It is a daily, time-consuming task. You don't just pop a pill.

Between all of the medicines and attacks on me, it has left my body unable to do what we used to do.   We still do everything, but at a much reduced level.

Aging is gradual deterioration in one's body followed by rapid deterioration, followed by gradual deterioration, etc. etc.

BUT we are campers, and hikers, and dancers, and cyclists.......and did I say dancers?

We refuse to give up on these joyful activities together until they are no longer possible because we have exhausted every treatment.  

We have to know we did our best because our life is camping, hiking, etc. etc........and did I say dancing?

In fact, here is one of our dances we video taped yesterday.

https://youtu.be/gpzuXMpg7ZM  

 And today we cycled for an hour.  As usual, in the dark and watched the sun rise over the Superstition Mountains.

We are not ready to give up.  Life and aging holds back no punches.  Punch back.

Candice’s Arizona Trail FKT attempt

April 8th Candice left the Mexico-USA border and started running north on the Arizona Trail (AZT).  

Candice is attempting to set a record for the Fasted Known Time (FKT) on the 800 mile trail from Mexico to Utah.  The AZT  is a beautiful scenic route that climbs over several mountain ranges and National Forests, through the Sonoran Desert, through the pine forests and grasslands on the Mogollon Rim, down one side of the Grand Canyon, across the Colorado River and back out of the Grand Canyon, to finish on the 7500’ high plateau of the Kaibab National Forest which leads to Utah!

Candice has pulled together a team to help her complete this run.  The record that she is attempting to set will be for the fastest known time to complete the Arizona Trail for a supported run.  

This crew will be supporting her by providing supplies, taking turns pacing her, and helping to carry supplies during the long hauls in areas where no vehicles can access the AZT.  These incredible runners and friends will also be there to tend to her medical needs, bandage up her feet, and give her moral support.  

As her Mom and Dad, we’d like to give a big thank to all of her amazing crew!

Day1:

727.4 miles to Utah….go, Candice, go!

We hope to meet up with her along the trail.  And of course, Mom and Dad will bring along some breakfast sandwiches, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and lots of hugs and love!