Thursday, August 25, 2022

Please fasten your seat belts....again....and again

 
Even under ordinary circumstances, there is nothing fun or relaxing about flying.  And we are old enough to remember when it was fun.  
 
First, back in the olden days of yore there was no TSA screening.  Your family could walk to the gate with you and wave goodby.  I can remember waving goodby to family on the tarmac!
  

 

You didn't get a little package of pretzels.  You got a meal.  A real meal.  A good meal.  Sometimes you even got choices for your meal.  Prepared by a real chef!  

 
 

There were in-flight movies!  On a real screen.  You had a headphone so you could hear the film well.  Free.

And as a special treat, for the high-paying, first-class, elite of the elite customers, there would be John Wayne westerns!


There were little amenities like aisles on the jets.  Now you have a small space to walk back to the restroom IF you don't happen to run into anyone going the opposite direction. 

You didn't pay a week's salary just to park at the airport.  

Free parking:


And instead of all of these ways that airlines used to try to make flying fun, what you get now, instead, are advertisements and announcements telling you that you are having fun.  

Ah, the good old days.  Is there anything more boring than some old guy pining for the good old days?   

You say no?  It's the most boring thing?  GREAT!  Then let me tell you about all of my physical ailments and see if you still say no.

Now, back to our fun.....we get onto our jet.  Get settled in.  Everyone's buckled up.  We get the "buckle up" and "oxygen mask" demos.  And then nothing happens.  

Finally, the pilot announces:  "We have a hydraulic leak in the landing gear so can't fly this plane.   We are sorry but you will need to disembark and go to Gate X.  But that's OK because you are having fun."  (I made that last sentence up).

So, I get to wrestle with our luggage in the overhead bin, and we disembark.  And go to Gate X.   There's another plane there.  So we go through the boarding process again.  And again I lift the bags into the overhead compartment.  I do this because Vicky's back prohibits that kind of lifting.

We sit down again.  On our first plane, there was a guy who was in the wrong seat, and had to move next to us when he found out.  So when he comes in this time I tell him, loudly, "THIS IS NOT YOUR SEAT, BUT THIS ONE IS!"  Everyone laughs.  Suddenly, old man humor is appreciated, for reasons I don't really understand.

So there we are.  The jet looks identical to the one we just left.  We hear about how to fasten our seat belts and what to do if there is a lack of oxygen.  Did you know that if this happens a little mask comes dangling from the ceiling?  Well, you do now! 

Then, nothing happens.

Pilot announces:  "We have a warning light for the oxygen masks that won't go off, so we need to get mechanics here to determine if the light is defective.

waiting....waiting.....waiting.....

Then, the pilot comes on again:  "I hate to say this, but....."   You can guess the rest.

So, I get the luggage out of the overhead bin once more.  And we head to Gate Y.  

At Gate Y is yet another identical plane, waiting for us (I suspect it was the first plane after the hydraulics had been repaired, but nobody said so of course).  

Now, Gate Y is far away from other gates.  Sort of off by itself.  So people who had been at the front of our previous plane and young people who still have strong bladders have reached the gate first......and claimed all of the seats.  

So we, in our mid 70s, with something like 10 orthopedic surgeries between us, are sitting on the floor in the hallway, thinking "can I get up?"

We board again.  I put the suitcases into the overhead compartment again.  We hear about how to buckle our seat-belts again.  We now know the entire lecture on what to do if there is a drop in oxygen.  We could all give it if needed.  Apparently the little light works on this plane.

The jet backs out onto the runway.  Nobody is optimistic. One passenger said, "We've been here before."  But then it takes off.  People cheer and clap.  I'm saving my cheering to see if the hydraulics for the landing gear are still leaking.

We land.  Everybody practically gives a standing ovation.

It was a tougher day for some of us than others.  There were people in wheelchairs.  A family with a new baby and a stroller.  

And everybody took it well.  We heard nothing from the people who had missed connections.  One person was at risk of missing his son's wedding.  People just seemed to take it all in stride.  Every time we disembarked the pilots stood in the doorway of the cockpit to say hello and to be pleasant.   Flight attendants did well.  I asked one if he got overtime and he said he didn't, but he was still professional and nice to all.  Told him he should get overtime.

We got to know people around us, telling jokes.  The man sitting next to Vicky, Kyle, could conceivably have provided air support in Iraq for Owen.  That's what he was doing at the same time Owen was an Army Ranger.  Who knows?  He has 5 kids and one on the way.  Want to hear more about him?  Let us know.  We had enough time for us to learn his life story and him to learn ours.

I don't ordinarily do this any more, but I ordered two glasses of wine....actually I ordered one for Vicky but since she doesn't drink wine I knew she'd give it to me.  And asked for two of those little boxes of snacks/food/junk-food.  I went to pay, and the flight attendant said it was "on the house."  The "house?"  We told our seat-mate about the free junk food and then he ordered one.....after all he might have provided air support for Owen so that's the least we could do. 

Alaska Airline is going to send us all a $75 credit for another flight.

We could complain and complain.  But, really, what for?  What we wanted to do was land safely, and their safety measures are one reason flying is so safe.  

It's interesting that in all of our years of flying (about 55), we have never had this happen even once, and we had it happen twice for the same flight.  



...after landing, we walked about 2 miles around the parking garage looking for our car.  That's typical for us, and a fitting way to end our day.

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